The easiest peach cobbler on the planet

ted | baltimore,food | Friday, April 30th, 2010

Admit your jealousy.

a 5 liter dutch oven full of cobbler

DO THIS:

Preheat your oven to a billion degrees. Or 260°C / 500°F, which is about as hot as most will go.

THEN GET:

Two liters of tinned peaches, preferably in pear juice instead of heavy syrup. Duhmerikans, this is four small cans (15 oz) or two big cans (30 oz).

One 355ml can of 7-up or Sprite.

One box of yellow cake mix.

One stick of butter, cut into little chunks.

MIX everything in a bowl, peach juice and all.

POUR into dutch oven. Place lid on, put into oven. Let it cook until the top looks delicious. Maybe an hour or so, you’ll have to check it every so often.

EAT.

HAPPY CHRIST-MAS

ted | chicago,food,junk | Thursday, December 25th, 2008

Chillin’ at home today, having a lovely morning. We made monkey bread last night and it was absolutely freakin’ delicious. Heading out in a while to go see a movie, but you should get to enjoy some of my favorite Christmasy songs, so I have put together this playlist for just such an occasion. My wife is enjoying a bit of a Christmas miracle herself, as her advisor has actually emailed her letting her know that he is working on his notes for her dissertation draft and she’ll have them in a couple days.

IT’S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE! “BOB” BLESS US EVERY ONE!

Oh, hi

ted | beer,bike,chicago,computer,driving,food,HAMLOG,house,junk,travel | Monday, December 8th, 2008

Yeah, it’s been a while. So what’s new?

  • Turns out the bike/car wreck was my fault, according to the eyewitnesses. Whoops. Needless to say, it has been handed over to my insurance company for them to deal with. I’m 99% physically healed but my ego is still bruised… as big of a stickler as I am for Same Road Same Rules Same Rights, I caused a wreck. Damn. I am making everything right on the car repair side and turning my mangled Raleigh Grand Prix into a parts bike for a road frame Charlie gave me years ago.
  • My Senator got elected to be the next POTUS which delights me greatly.
  • It’s cold here. And snowy. Just in time, too – I like seasonal weather.
  • We had Fakesgiving III/Bullshit Thanksgiving 2008 at the home of Pete & Miz Royal. Fried a turkey in the chilly 15°F weather, had a couple Manhattans courtesy of Mr. Scott Action (Anton LaVey Jr.) and a great time was had by all.
  • I’m keeping track of what I eat again. And losing weight again. I need to do this, badly. I’ve got two data points from this year. One where I signed up for fitday last year and one where I got weighed for a weight-loss contest at work in August. I’m back down near my August weight but have about 20 pounds to go until I’ve erased 2008′s ravages from my body.
  • Out of homebrew. For now. Apple juice should start getting really, really cheap soon which means it’s about time to make another keg of hard cider.
  • Work’s keeping me busy. One of my projects entails modifying some of our equipment, including getting the die set out of one of our presses, and nobody there has had it out before – fun, challenging and downright scary at times. You go elbows-deep in an 80 ton press and tell me it ain’t scary.
  • My buddy Markh is comin’ up this weekend with his special lady in tow, which excites me. I haven’t seen Mark much since I moved 700+ miles away. Funny, that.

In short, first I:

But now:

And soon I shall again be:

That omnivore top 100 list.

ted | food | Friday, August 15th, 2008

The Omnivore’s Hundred is a list of foods the gastronomic Andrew Wheeler thinks everyone should try at least once in their lives.

The rules of the thing: bold those you have tried, strikethrough those you wouldn’t eat on a bet.

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Alligator
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart

16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava

30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat

42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk in cheese form
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more (truly the most shaming one on the list)
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear

52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores

62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst

65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost

75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail

79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini

81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky

84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers

89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox

97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake

Unintentional poetry

ted | chicago,food | Thursday, July 24th, 2008

Posted above a cantilevered glass shelf in a window overlooking the kitchen at one of the nearby Taquerias, El Gallo de Oro:

DON’T LEAN ON THE COUNTER

IT’LL BREAK!

DON’T TALK TO THE CHEF

WHILE MAKING YOUR ORDER

HE’LL MAKE A MISTAKE.

This is important. This means something.

ted | food | Tuesday, February 5th, 2008

I’m learning – slowly – there are very few flavors that go well with almond extract.

Ted’s Patented Egg Nog recipe

ted | chicago,food,house | Thursday, December 6th, 2007

Ingredients:

  • 4 egg yolks
  • 1/3rd c sugar
  • 2 c whole milk
  • 1 c heavy cream
  • 4 oz. bourbon
  • 1 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg

Directions:

Pour bourbon over 4 ice cubes in an old fashioned glass. Throw away the other ingredients.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

ted | food | Thursday, November 23rd, 2006

AND GO FUCK YOURSELF

Things I have learned from the food channel, part 2

ted | food | Sunday, May 7th, 2006

The Ninja Bong asketh:

Now do you know what A&P stands for?

Atlantic and Pacific Tea Company.

Things I have learned from the Food Channel

ted | food | Saturday, May 6th, 2006

We watch the Food Channel as the default channel, so it’s on a whole lot.

A & P was the first chain grocery store in the US.
Piggly Wiggly (aka Hoggly Woggly) was the first self-serve grocery store and opened in Memphis TN.
One Rachael Ray show per day is too much. The four in a row last night were way too much.
Alton Brown should lay off the cutesy schtick once in a while and stick to science.
We miss Iron Chef.
Iron Chef America is one of the worst shows ever.
Bobby Flay is still a supreme asshole and cooks the same damn thing over and over.
Mark Summers, OCD master of Double Dare fame, is clearly a robot leased to the Food Network.

If only Rick Bayless was on PBS as much. Selah.

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