East Buttfuck Militia Claims It Can Shoot More Meskins Than West Buttfuck Militia

ted | junk | Thursday, February 22nd, 2007

West Buttfuck Militia loses bidding war, has to keep shitskull, says EBM spokesman. Despite ongoing tensions caused by fluctuating exchange rates through a city divided, spokesmen from both militias met at the center span of the Municipal Shit Bridge met for a brief name-calling session that ended poorly for all parties. Later, East Buttfuck Militia claimed to be bigger defender of Freedom than West Buttfuck Militia.

WBM was unreachable for comment, speculated to be “rolling their shitskull around like a flat soccer ball.”

freakin’ convert, already

ted | junk | Tuesday, February 20th, 2007

The US really needs to convert to the metric system real fuckin’ fast. I’m sick of this crap.

Were money no object, I’d make sure we had nothing but A3/A4 paper and C5/C6 envelopes at home, A4 notebooks and two-hole 80mm (by 6mm hole diameter) binders.

For reals, bring on the kilometers and celcius (although I prefer the term “centigrade”) and liters and Newton-meters. Yes I already know how to estimate things pretty well in miles and Fahrenheit and gallons and foot-pounds, but damnit, you develop that skill by using those units on a daily basis.

I also think I may abandon my preferred day.month.year date format for the ISO standard year-month-day, but that remains to be seen.

I already hate dealing with SAE tools when rummaging around for sockets or wrenches in an unorganized toolbox (durr, what’s slightly bigger than 3/8″… might be 7/16″… might be 13/32″… might even be 25/64″ if you’re dealing with tap drill sizes), which is glad I both organized my tools and made sure all mine are metric.

There’s what, only three countries that haven’t converted yet? The USA, Liberia & Burma (nee Myanmar) according to the US Metric Association. GET WITH IT.

Also, if you’re going to whine about our legacy system and how converting would cost us billions of dollars, you can shut the fuck up right now. If anything, it would create jobs in the US as all road signs would need replacing, maps would need reprinting, companies needed new tooling & dies, consultants to help, etc. The Iraq war costs us something like $7.5 million per hour – couldn’t we pull everybody out a couple weeks early, spend that money on converting the entire country and still have a couple billion left over to spend on a METRIC SYSTEM! FUCK YEAH! party?

although it is an unbearable strain, I’m doing it as hard as I ever have

ted | junk | Thursday, February 1st, 2007

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if i have to explain this to you, you’re fired

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