I like fixing stuff. Still.
Wound up using Automotive Goop (not Household, as I initially thought) on the Maytag. About to go try a new load to make sure it held. It went on pretty well and smoothed out well overnight, despite how sticky it was when being applied with gloved hands.
My $15 Zenni Optical glasses also came apart. Again. For the third time. Disassembled all the threaded connectors, applied high strength (red) threadlock compound and reassembled. We’ll see how well they hold up.