No longer will I sweep for you, for I am not your broom.

ted | house | Wednesday, April 4th, 2007

“Look, do you work here? You don’t understand what I’m saying!”

With those few words, Shawn, the paint-department counter jockey, had lost two customers. Since we were no longer going to trade with this particular Home Despot – store #1908 at 7200 S Cicero Avenue, Bedford Park IL 60638 – we were in no hurry to put the three gallons of paint base, sixpack of rollers, assorted paintbrushes and other miscellany back on the shelves. In fact we left that shit all right there on the counter where it lay. I want to say that whatever part of our collection was in my hands was unceremoniously dropped on the counter as we collectively spun on our heels and made haste but that may be an elaborate fabrication of my imagination.

What, indeed, had Shawn done? He failed to understand our simple request, multiple times. He failed in the modest task what was his charge. Most of all, he got short with us.

All we wanted was to have the primer tinted close to the color of the finish coat, a light greenish grey. The finish coat apparently gave him no trouble, despite it being a color sample from their premium paint line but mixed for a midrange paint. When it came time to tint the primer, he started stammering incomprehensible things about tint bases and pigments and the computer and matching.

“No, really, it doesn’t have to be the same color. Just get it close, so long as it’s not white, we’re OK with it.”

This went on for about twenty minutes. A line was forming.

He gave us the same line about bases and tints and the computer and matches.

“No really, it doesn’t have to match. You’re not listening to us. Just get it pretty close or heck, just use the same pigment in the primer base, it will be fine. I promise.” We were trying to make his life easier. Just get it sorta light greenish grey and we’ll get out of here, honest.

Then he dropped the A-bomb with his attitude and tone.

On our way out, we spoke with the manager, I assume for the shift – not the entire store. He had no sort of identification as such, never offered us his name, a card, a seat. He listened to our complaints about his paint wallah and said that he apologized, that he would speak with the employee immediately and what could he do to make us customers again.

Our treatise had but a few salient points, which we made sure he understood. There are lots of places to buy paint. Mixing paint ain’t rocket surgery. It’s practically automated now, the counter jockey is only a go-between from the customer with a paint chip to the mixer. Said counter jockey’s attitude, tone and problem listening is what caused us to walk off. I’m sure he could have tinted the primer without fail had there been a button for it. As it turns out, there was not, and he did not understand what we wanted, nor did he listen to our myriad suggestions.

We have truthfully spent thousands of dollars at that particular store over the years. As of last night, we will no longer be trading with that store or any other in that chain. No amount of groveling from the manager was going to change it. That ship sailed in a big hurry at about the same time as the 3″ wide natural bristle brush hit the stainless steel countertop as we walked away.

So no more, Home Despot, no more forever.

n.b. Today Nikki picked up the paint at a local independent store. We actually stopped there first yesterday, but finding it closed, continued on to the national chain. She noticed as she walked in a large sign proclaiming, “ASK US ABOUT TINTING YOUR PRIMER!”. Within 30 seconds of walking in, a knowledgeable employee asked if he could assist her, then expertly mixed the paint based on a different brand’s paint code and tinted the primer. The paint itself was quite nearly twice what we would have paid at the big store. For the service, knowledge and professionalism I say it is completely and totally worth it.

If you are in need of paint or other like supplies, I endorse Decorator’s Supply House, 4019 W 63rd St, Chicago IL 60629, just west of 63rd & Pulaski and the Vision Center Indian.

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